It's All About MEEEE!!!!

I guess it’s been a little while since I’ve “blogged”. Look, I’ve been busy alright. Busy....procrastinating. No seriously though, my husband has been gone for about 6 weeks now with his military duties and I’ve been alone with my 19-month-old boy (who feels about as heavy as a tank right now). I will be 35 weeks pregnant this week with our second son. There are about a million things I should be doing to prepare for baby #2, but usually by the end of the day the amount of energy I have left is zero. So, I’m finally sitting down while boy #1 is repeatedly hitting the same button on his pretend laptop in his room and I'm committing to writing another post.

So much has happened in the last couple months where I think to myself, “Self, you should remember that. Then write about it.” But as anyone who has had preggo-brain or a toddler can tell you, you forget stuff. Quite easily in fact, and often. But as long as its not your kid being left in the shopping cart after a grocery run, you’re fine.

Actually, some people might not really like this post. This post may come off as a rant. I really do not mean to be a negative person, but lately, people have been making me really angry. DANI ANGRY....DANI SMASH!!! And it’s not that I feel above these people in any way, but I just don’t understand why some people are so rude/mean/self-serving. Let me explain.

The first occurrence in the chain of events we will call “The ME Apocalypse” happened

on the weekend of the 4th of July. Now, I love Independence Day. Who doesn’t like freedom? Good ole’ ‘Merican food, celebrations, and tradition. But sometimes people born with an illness called “Stupidity” get a hold of things called fireworks and shoot them off in very foolish and dangerous ways. Sure, maybe I was a bit irritated because boy #1 wouldn’t go to bed and kept hearing them and pointing to the window, seconds after his eyes were closing (in a sure sign that he was about to be asleep). What I couldn’t let go of though, was that where we live (on-base) fireworks aren’t allowed. I know the cops look the other way, and I don’t even mind that so much either. But the thing is, when its nearing midnight, and bits of fireworks are hitting my roof and scaring the you-know-what out of me, the party’s over. This same neighbor was also apparently intoxicated, and lit one, lost control of it and I watched as it shot off near a crowd of people on his front lawn. There were kids there. And that’s when the mama bear in me comes out. Basically, this guy and his wife didn’t give a rip about anyone else on the street, the fact that not everyone is in that phase of life where you can party like a rockstar and have parties as loud as you want. Some of us who live here have kids. Are pregnant. Some have to work weird hours and need sleep at some point. But that doesn’t matter to some people. As long as they are happy.

So, a couple weeks later, I’m getting ready for bed and notice a random car in my driveway. Huh? That’s not my car. Did someone get drunk and park in the wrong driveway? I guess to some its not a big deal, but this is our driveway and if I go into labor in the middle of the night or my kid needs a trip to the ER, your hooptie better not be blocking me in. I went outside to try and figure out whose car it is, and my next door neighbor and his buddy are working on a car in his garage. I ask if this car is his and and he’s like “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry.” I nicely told him it wasn’t a big deal, but the car needs to be moved before the morning because we had to be somewhere. He moved it before that, but still, what makes people feel the right to such entitlement? I get that you didn’t think we were home, but why not check? Maybe even ASK if you could do it for a while. Again, someone who is not thinking of anyone but himself.

I’m sure this is starting to sound like a whole bunch of whining, but I really am trying to make a point. These next couple examples make me REALLY, REALLY mad.

In an attempt to tire my lil boy out, I have been taking him to a community center on base that basically has a little indoor playground. It is awesome. It is free. And it is open almost everyday. Thank you Jesus for the Playzone. The Playzone has rules though, and they make it very clear there that you do not dump off your rugrats and zone out. You need to supervise them and (GASP!) interact with them. We were there a couple weeks ago, and lil man is doing his pretend thing...you know, putting plastic cash registers in the pretend microwave. A couple comes in with their 2-year-old boy and I was a little excited. Maybe the lil guys will play together. I smile, say hi, make the usual “How old is yours” small-talk. I should have known something was up when I notice both mom and dad are wearing blue-tooth ear-pieces. They proceed to get on the phone, (2 different conversations) and bust out laptop computers. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The lil boy obviously knew they wanted to zone him out for a while and just played alone in a little climbing structure. I felt so bad for him. I understand that every parent needs some “away-time” from their mini-me’s (including me....right NOW), but what a huge message they were sending him. Five minutes later, a couple moms come in with their older kids and proceed to play some word game on their iphones while their mongrels kick my kid out of the plastic playhouse and even slam the door in his face. Just as I’m about to go over and intervene, one of them puts her phone down long enough to say “So-and-so, are you being mean?” Um, yeah lady. Because they know you don’t give crap what they are doing right now.

I know that I am still a new parent. I do not have all the answers or think that I do in any way. But I do know that kids, even very young ones are watching their mommies and daddies. They are picking up signals from them. They are learning that it’s ok to be selfish, rude, and lacking in basic manners. They are learning that blowing off the rules is fine (as long as you don’t get caught). Sadly, some of them are even learning that they aren’t as important as a phone call, email, or game.

I know I have messed up and will mess up again and again when it comes to raising my kids. It’s what parents do. But I really hope that my boys understand that the world does not revolve around them. That other people matter and so do their needs. I hope they learn to put others first, even when it’s very inconvenient. I hope we don’t just explain this to them, but that they see it in the way we act. This era of entitlement is sad and only getting worse. Hopefully, more people will get sick of it too.

Ode To The Un-Parents

Alright. I’m forcing myself to sit down and write again. Normally after the kiddo goes to sleep, I waste my time between watching semi-entertaining re-runs on Netflix and doing whatever verb you would use for Facebook. Fine, facebooking. Anyways, tonight I’m only writing and facebooking. That’s better, right?

Lately I’ve had a lot on my mind when it comes to parenting. My 17-month-old boy is at a crossroads we’ll call “Stage 1 Terrible Twos.” I call it “Stage 1” because the attitude has just begun. The little flare of power he seems to get in his eyes as he throws the word “No” around seems to appear more and more now. “What? Mommy’s on a very important phone call? I must throw every book in my arsenal of sweet children’s books across the room to get her attention. Hmmmmn. She’s ignoring me? Let’s see if chucking the family shoes off the shelf does the trick!”

After the phone call episode (which was a particularly emotionally draining day) I had had it. He definitely got a stern “talkin’ to” then a swat on the backside for that. As I type this, I’m 6-and-a-half months pregnant, and I’m sure the vision of a giant bison of a mom coming at him with pure frustration in her face probably frightened him more than the actual spanking. * Note: Don’t run and call CPS just yet. Spanking is not something we take lightly and is done with a lot of thought. I never spank if I’m fuming and take time to comfort my child after and explain to him (as much as he can understand at this point) why it happens. Breaks my heart every time, but I know it’s nothing compared to how I would feel if he had to deal with the consequences of having never received discipline at all.

Back in the day, when I was young, idealistic college student I would tell myself I probably wouldn’t spank when I had kids. Spanking would only be a last resort and rarely used. In fact, there were a lot of subjects I was convinced I was an expert on. ‘Cause hey, I was studying child development and I was a kid once and how hard can it be? Bahahahahahahaha. Silly Dani. Just you wait and see.

I love my friends who are not yet parents. They are awesome. Being friends with non-parents adds some flavor to life and helps round me out as a person. I do think its funny though that some of them have the same very intense feelings about certain aspects of parenting that they actually have no experience with. I guess this entry will be an ode to them, because I used to be one too. But I got edu-ma-cated....through experience.

Perhaps this is a bit random, but if you haven’t yet read the blog www.rantsfrommommyland.com, you should definitely check it out. I recently discovered it and the ladies who write for it are awesome. It’s as if the stuff I have floating in my head sometimes and don’t know how to get out, they have it too, only they express it far better than I ever could. They have an article about saying “I’ll never” with your kids that is similar in theme, but like I said, way better.

Back to “B.C. Thinking”. B.C.= Before child. Yes, the spanking one was one of my main ones. Turns out, if you are wanting to raise your kids with a sense of Biblical parenting, spanking is involved. It’s never out of anger or to gain something for yourself. It’s to be used as a tool of teaching. It’s aim shouldn’t be to embarrass the child, but to remind them. Sometimes all I have to do now is ask my lil guy if he needs a spanking when he is doing something wrong. He usually says “no” and stops what he is doing. And that is awesome, because that is self-discipline starting.

Another B.C ideal: “My kid isn’t going to watch hardly any TV at all.” Haha. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want him glued to the boob-tube all day long with a remote in one hand and a sippy cup of chocolate milk in the other, but I kid you not, sometimes I thank God for “The Backyardigans”. If putting on a sweet, musical, colorfully animated show buys me 15 minutes of whine-free time for cooking, eating, or just sitting and making the Braxton-Hicks go away, I say “Rock on, Uniqua!” I’m hopeful he’ll still be a functional member of society someday in spite of it.

B.C. ideal: “I’m going to be a cute mom. And wear cute clothes. And do my make-up all cute ‘n stuff. Those moms who pack on a few pounds after are just lazy.” WRONG! Anyone who has seen me in the last few months especially can attest to this fact. After I had boy #1, I was a mess. I was lucky to get a shower in everyday. Even then, my hair got half-brushed and thrown into a bun. Forget make-up, that was just one more thing to have to wipe off at the end of the day, and I just wanted to get to bed before the next round of crying/nursing/burping/cleaning started. As for hitting the gym, that was very hard to get back in to. Turns out, having a C-section does quite a number on the abs. Maybe its because 2 surgeons ripped my muscles apart and pulled a human being through them. The first time I did a sit-up at 8 weeks post-delivery, I thought I was going to die. I actually cried at the gym. So its not laziness, its pain. And it doesn’t happen overnight. Unless you have a nanny, personal trainer, personal chef and maybe some lipo. I went to the gym 3 days a week for about 11 months. And while I lost some weight and toned up a little bit, my body was never the same after baby boy. I understand that now and have come to terms with it. My stomach will never be completely flat ever again and the scar on it is still numb, but totally worth it. I started wearing make-up again and trying to dress somewhat attractive (especially when the hubby came back from his deployment) but I learned a lesson in grace. Most moms need some. I will never judge a mom again the way I did “B.C.” Have a heart people...er,um, Dani.

I think I’ve hit my limit for the night. The kid is asleep, the husband just got home and and the baby in my belly is demanding a snack. I’m sure more “B.C” gems will pop into my head and make me laugh down the road. Becoming a parent is definitely a learning experience. It is also a big slice of Humble Pie. For my friends who haven’t crossed over to the dark side yet, be warned. You will laugh at your former self. And that’s ok.

Yup. I'm gonna do it. I'm makin' a Blog.

For months now I have been considering writing a blog. Not because I’m a good writer or anything, or have any super helpful information to offer the world. But because I actually used to enjoy writing. Like, loved it. Almost majored in it. But then life got all busy and crazy and writing is not something I could be bothered with.

Actually, that’s a lie. I’m on Facebook waaaaay too often, and have apparently written on there enough to elicit the encouragement from some folks (the husband in particular) to actually take a stab at writing again. So I figure, if you don’t wanna read my blog, then don’t. It’s a free country (still....I think). If you would like to see a tiny sliver of just how crazy/flustered/happy/exhausted/silly my life is, then read on my friends, ‘cause this momma’s got a whole bunch of experiences to write down.

First, I should probably just point out that currently I’m a stay-at-home mom. “So you don’t work?” Seriously, why do people ask that question? “You’re absolutely right. I do not work. I sit on my keester all day and let my lil’ 17-month-old finger paint with his own poop, eat massive amounts of whatever he wants, and wait for daddy to bring home the bacon.” I work. At home. With a very demanding but loving, sweet little tyrant of a boy who looks insanely just like his handsome dad. Also, I’m knocked-up again. With another boy. And he’s gonna be awesome.

Actually, a lot of my writing is probably gonna be about things that have happened in this stage of our lives. Things I’m learning about being a wife, a mommy, and a Christian in this day and age.

“Oh no, she’s a....(gasp)....(eye-rolling)....Christian. Blech. Just click the lil’ red X at the top of the page now.” Yes, I am a Christian. Not like, crazy, Westboro-lets-hang-all-the-non-believers-and-throw-Bibles-at-them Christian. Just a Christian. I will probably write some stuff that deals with faith, religion, etc. So if that offends you, consider yourself warned. I love Jesus and I’m not apologetic about it either. But again, if you don’t like this bloggity-blog, don’t read it.

So, I’m a stay-at-home Executive Personal Assistant to my son, a Christian and whatever else in the way of roles God throws at me. It might help to know that right before I had a kid, I was in the Air Force. Doing something amazing. Crossing into the blue. Or whatever other recruiting slogan you may have heard. It was fun while it lasted. I got out (Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, Free at last!) but my husband is still active duty. So you can imagine all sorts of fun stories and odd situations have shaped the situations found herein.

Anyways, here goes my attempt at writing again. For fun. For the first time since high school...which was 9 years....yeah. Gonna stop right there for now.

Enjoy.